Dear me,

First of all, happy birthday! This one's gonna be really special, I promise.

I know it's odd to wake up where you are today, and it still doesn't feel like home. And I know that you're struggling to understand exactly what's going on why everything is happening so quickly. You just want some answers, but he keeps telling you, "When you're older." Trust me, I KNOW that's frustrating. But I promise it will all work out. In fact, in just a few years this strange place will be the one place that you don't want to leave. You're gonna meet tons of cool people and make lots of friends. So stop worrying about all this crazy stuff and just focus on today--your special day.

And one more thing: I just want you to know that you really don't have to hate him. None of this was meant to harm you. You don't have to like everything he does, and you don't even have to like him at the moment; but just don't hate him. Spend time with him. Try to love him, regardless of everything. Trust me. It will save you a lot of pain in the future.

Okay, go enjoy your birthday now. It's the first of many like it and better.
Dear me,

I know it's tough at the moment but don't lose faith in everything you know is true! Don't second guess yourself. You are strong and know what is right. Just don't give up. Never let someone talk you out of your dreams. Believe in yourself and let go of the past. I understand that the present is overwhelming and you can't picture the future, but don't be afraid. Just embrace it, and I promise it will pay off. Ask for help. I know you feel like you're drowning and no one can see, but people aren't mind readers. Reach out. Get help. Don't let you lose yourself. Please don't waste your life trying to find yourself, you KNOW who you are. Please, please don't lose that. Remember what your dreams are, and don't lose that. Pursue it and succeed, and don't humble yourself from your success. Trust people to not let you down, but don't put your future in anyone else's hands. Fight for your future. Fight as hard as you can until you win. Don't dwell on your mistakes—learn from them. It's what makes you human.